A couple of weeks ago, I was walking along the Rokin in Amsterdam when I noticed a poster advertising the ‘Amsterdam Dungeon’. I actually realized in a second moment it was about it, I firstly noticed one thing only on that poster, a big word in flashy colours on a black background saying: ‘GUILTY!’.
It was a slap in the face, probably because it triggered the little guilty feeling I was already suppressing, as I had decided to get a Red Velvet slice cake at ‘De Drie Graefjes’, just a few meters further.
Actually I am not even sure why the idea of having a slice of this tender, not too sweet, cake popped into my mind. As I read that word ‘Guilty!’ pointing at me like Uncle Sam, the red soft layers of the cake took the shape of a scarlet letter of shame, hanging in front of me. And it was not regarding eating sweets: guilt is a feeling that keeps me company like an old grumpy friend, who is difficult to send away.
Long story short: I stopped in front of the poster, staring at the ‘GUILTY!’ word for a moment, and a few moments later I was enjoying a huge slice of Red Velvet piece of heaven.
The painting below appeared in the following days, as I thought how to shape in colours my rebellion against guilt. It is not regarding having a cake, it is regarding allowing to live freely.
I am not sure you can read it, ‘Guilt’ is written on the canvas but it is melting in gold, like an alchemical process, that cannot be terminated.
There are sad and scary moments. There are blue days and peaks of emotions, like blood clots, but today I want to feel that it is not an illusion, somewhere there is a bit of freedom. Also for me.
‘No more Guilt’
Mixed Technique painting on canvas
All images © 2018 Rosanna Gaddoni
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